Saturday 16 July 2011

Is an average brownie better than none at all?

In my novel Pear-Shaped, Sophie, the main character, is interviewed for a job as a dessert developer.

The final question she's asked, by the scary pudding guru who later becomes her boss, is 'Do you think an average brownie is better than none at all.'


Sophie's thought process runs as follows:


What? What sort of a question is that for an interview?  Clearly this must be a trick.  Is she just finding out if I’m greedy?  Or if I genuinely love pudding, or what?  I don’t know what she wants me to say, but all I can tell her is the truth.  Well, not quite the truth – my honest answer would be ‘if you are stoned, absolutely’.  But then if you are stoned, an average brownie is transformed into a superior brownie anyway.

My truth is this: I would rather not eat a brownie than eat an average brownie.

Not because of the calories.

Not because I’m a snob.

But because for me, brownies are sacred; where they’re concerned I don’t do half measures.  In the same way that I couldn't marry a man I didn't love, or be in a relationship with someone I didn't respect, or sleep with a man who wasn't funny.


I am of the same school of thought as Sophie.  Life's too short to eat an average brownie.  I actually feel life's too short to eat an average anything.  It's not about foie gras or lobsters or money.  I'd be happy eating bread, butter and cheese every day for the rest of my life, as long as it was delicious fresh crusty bread, beautiful French butter, and any one of 1000 delicious cheese that exist.  It's about caring what goes in your gob - when you have the luxury of time to be organised about it.  Obviously life tends to get in the way more often than not.  

However, in the realm of brownies - as in the realm of relationships - I think it's important to exercise discernment and have high standards always.   You don't have to eat every brownie that crosses your path.  
Now I have bought many brownies, baked many brownies and eaten many brownies in my time.  I don't think there's a brownie you can buy in the UK that's a 10/10.  I've had some 9s - usually at gastropubs.  

But really what I want is independence.  Knowledge is power, and I want to be able to make 10/10 brownies at home, on rainy days, on happy days - basically whenever I feel like it.

To that end, I'm going to work my way through a world of brownie recipes, to try and find my brownie nirvana.  I'll write about my idea of a perfect brownie another time.  Suffice to say it does not include nuts (wrong, wrong, wrong) and does not eat like a cake.

Till next time.

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